It has been a while…..he is 20 months now

I haven’t posted anything new in a while. Between life and more life it simply hasn’t happened. Our little man is now 20 months old and progressing amazingly. He is growing, his 23rd tooth is pushing through, obsessed with the water (a true beach baby who has no fear of the waves), and can not get enough of life.  My wife has done an amazing job as his caretaker and we are blessed in many ways.  How she has the energy and emotional strength is beyond me….I am probably harder than he is and she can attest to that.

 

Anyhow, our journey is changing.  We are constantly coming up with ideas, thoughts, and overall wondering what life has in store for us.  I spent the last 1.5 years attending law school online, but we decided that uprooting again in order for me to attend a better school was a smart decision.  As a result we are leaving the beautiful Gulf Coast beaches and heading to Salem, Oregon in a few weeks.  Will it be a bit of a culture and weather shock? I suppose. However, one we are excited and planning for.

 

As with any move, especially a cross-country move, pressure can be intense.  Ours a little more so because of having three pets; two of which are on the “aggressive breed list” which makes renting a home nearly impossible.  I flew to Oregon a few weeks ago and we are under contract on a home out there.  Lord willing we will close at the beginning of July and have a place to move into as we acclimate to our new town. Over the next few months and years I see this blog taking a drastic shift and including more seemingly randomness as we figure out life that is founded in what we believe, want, and think will be best for us as a family of three……or four……or more.

 

If not for my wife’s choices and ability to stay home we wouldn’t have these options.  She truly is the foundation of our family and I(we) are forever grateful.  For those who don’t know she voluntarily walked away from a great career as a critical care RN in Canada to move overseas.  After a year in the Caribbean we returned to Florida and she acquired her green card and permanent residency. I can imagine she is antsy to be back with her fellow practitioners, and I would assume in the near future she will be, but she is also interested in pursuing her masters or PhD. Whenever and whatever she chooses I support…..God knows I owe her the utmost support.

 

We are only a few months away from my education starting over (four more years), but we also think about what will we do after school.  It seems simple….graduate, land a job, pay our bills, and try to provide a comfortable/safe lifestyle for your family.  I struggle with the status quo for a few reasons: the legal field is swamped, a legal education is expensive, it does not teach one to be a practitioner but rather teaches someone enough to pass the bar exam, I don’t like working for others, the US doesn’t currently hold my interest, and I detest the idea of wearing a suit and cubicles. It would appear my chosen career path is wrong. However, I do have reasons for it and how it may pan out. Luckily my education is free; I have the ability to walk away debt free.  We have residual income which will remain in place even after school ends, but we hope to grow that residual income through real estate ventures while attending school.  If our plan pans out I will graduate in 2018 with a law degree that does not need to be utilized for monetary benefit; rather, used for the sole purpose of helping others.

 

Where will we go? What will we do?  Only time will tell, but it will surely be an adventure filled with change, culture, multiple languages, bambinos, and fun.  Until next time….stay thirsty my friends.

 

 

 

Making Baby and Adult Friendly Laundry Detergent

There are many reasons you might choose to make your own laundry detergent: it’s cheaper, healthier, allows you to mix baby and adult clothing, washing machine stays cleaner, and clothes appear cleaner (also doesn’t leave that stagnant smell if you forget a load in the washer which I am prone to doing).

What you’ll need:

1.) 1 bar of castile soap

2.) Baking Soda

3.) Super Washing Soda

4.) Borax

5.) A cheese grater

6.) A container to store the powder

Process:

1.) Grate the bar of soap on the cheese grater. You want it to be relatively fine so use the small holes. Pour the grated soap into the storage container.

2.) Pour 1 cup of baking soda into the container.

3.) Pour 1 cup of super washing soda into the container.

4.) Pour 1 cup of borax into the container.

5.) Pick the container up, turn on your favorite radio station, and dance the ingredients into equal distribution.

6.) Place 1/4 cup into the machine, press start, and enjoy the fact that you no longer have to sort baby clothes or smell like Dreft.

*We have a high-effeciency washing machine and it’s safe. There is no residue on the clothes or the machine. Tweak the amount as you see fit.

Cost:

A 32 load bottle of Dreft will cost you about $10. That same number of loads (assuming you use 1/4 cup) can be made for as little as $2.83 ($1.50/one bar of soap, $0.28/one cup of baking soda, $0.70/one cup washing soda, and $0.35/one cup of Borax).

We use a more expensive castile soap so our price is $5.33.

Why We Don’t Vaccinate…..you make the choice

There are multiple reasons for writing this piece, but the main one is because the AC turned on and I can’t hear my movie.

I DON’T AND WILL NEVER TELL ANYONE WHAT THEY SHOULD OR SHOULDN’T DO IN REGARDS TO VACCINES. With that disclaimer I shall commence our reasoning.

We don’t believe any one reason causes autism, immune suppression, or chronic illnesses. However, we do know that many agents exist, which we are exposed to daily, that cause cancer and other medical problems. As a result we, as a society, have begun to realize we are hurting ourselves. Let’s use a simple example of filtered water. Did our parents or grandparents ask for this? Most likely no. They drank from the springs, wells, tap, etc. We are progressing and becoming self-aware (a step in the right direction).

We believe the research is neutral at best. For every “pro-vaccine” study completed I can refute it with another. With every “anti-vaccine” study I can refute it with another. That means the playing field SHOULD be neutral; i.e. let us make our own decisions, but the reality is money won’t allow it. 

Informed consent is an amazing phenomenon, doctrine, and standard within the medical establishment that people, both practitioners and patients, seem to have forgotten. Without going into mind numbing detail it’s simply the responsibility of a medical professional to explain the procedure, potential consequences, an overall reason for its necessity or non-necessity, and other options. Now, last time you went and did a shot of “vaccine” at your local profit producing watering hole, were you informed? Did you ask questions?

The practice of medicine is an art. As such it’s always changing and requires those practicing and on the receiving end to maintain a sense of “in the know.” Ever wonder why cancer seems to prevalent? I believe we are systematically killing ourselves in the name of greed: convenience, laziness, excuses, and marketing. 

We know certain things are bad for us so we tend to shy away from many of them. We can’t live in a bubble, despite sometimes I wish I could live in a noise canceling bubble, so we pick our battles. Being the naive, egotistical, and angry elf that I am I tend to question and attempt to refute everything. As a result I/we have become more self-aware of the constant scrutiny our bodies are under.

I believe our food supply, GMO and all, is horrid. I believe (know) vaccines have cancer causing agents in them….look into the Polio vaccine…..used for 50+ years and finally, late 90’s, changed formulas because of this fact. I believe many of our conveniences such as microwaves, cellphones, wi-fi, etc. are hard on the body, despite the radiation being low. If you think about how we are voluntarily, some non-voluntarilly, shot full of this garbage daily you have to wonder when the body says, “Enough is enough and it’s time for a change.”

As a result we limit, in some ways, what we voluntarily expose ourselves to. We aren’t perfect, never will be, but as a human race we have a duty to care for others. I can not, with a good conscious, pollute my son without thinking about it. If I can eliminate even one thing that’s a start. Vaccines are a known pollutant which we are capable of eliminating. 

My vague reasoning is not solely the reasoning for our son being awarded a reprieve from inoculations, but also the “veil of protection” awarded to these pharmaceutical pimps and hoes. 

Now I feel better, the AC has turned off, so now I shall return to Marky Mark as Marky Mark in his latest movie. 

 

 

 

Breasts are Best…..and some real food

Before you read any further….stop….empty every crumb out of your fridge, freezer, and pantry. Now that we have a blank canvas we can begin shopping for baby food. 

Here is what you’ll need:

1.) Common sense

2.) Complete avoidance of the baby aisle in the grocery store

When should you begin supplementing or adding in real food? That’s a question that will be hashed out in battles for years to come. We started around month 6-7. This was based on the development of his GI tract and our desire to avoid causing allergies.

What foods do you start with? Again, difficult question, but we decided to start simple and “clean.” That is chemically clean and easy: aguacate, aka avocado. He wasn’t a fan at first so we didn’t push the subject. We knew he was growing and developing fine solely on breast “gold” so we introduced food slowly.

He wasn’t a fan of avocado at first, but in time he grew to love them. Typically we feed him like you would cattle…..toss it on his high chair and if he eats it great, if he doesn’t, well, the dogs will be happy after he crushes it with his hands and spreads it around the floor like a glitter bomb. 

Next came fruits. I think it started from a “buddy day,” meaning he was having a moment where he wanted everything and also nothing. I gave him a whole strawberry hoping to amuse him, but the next thing we saw was a 7-month old massacring a strawberry like a screenshot out of Saw I,II, or 27 (however many they have made). His cheeks were filled and his body (head to toe) covered in sweet strawberry juice. He loved it, so did our camera.

After this we started introducing other soft fruits: cantaloupe, watermelon, honeydew, etc. We keep the pieces big enough so he can grab them and bite them. However, what we have learned is “Little Buddy” is a hoarder. He can hide more fruit in his mouth than I could ever imagine. Hopefully he won’t be on an intervention show one day!!

Next we introduced black beans and steamed vegetables. Once again we didn’t purée anything, just popped them in his mouth or on his highchair table. He loves those little guys. I almost forgot to mention: if you microwave vegetables in a bag, I hope it breaks your microwave and melts all over your “beautiful” backsplash. For the record, we don’t have a microwave and do just fine without one. 

Yesterday was Quinoa noodles. He had a few bites, slurped them down, but then decided he’d rather us just fill his highchair table with water and watch him splash them about. 

Today was shredded chicken. Wow!! He is going to kill an un-Godly number of chickens so farmers, you’re quite welcome, and PETA people, I am sorry. 

Really we have allowed him to dictate how/when he eats. We randomly toss food in front of him if he’s in his spot watching us or if we’re eating. We also give him a spoon and allow him to figure it out. It’s surprising how quickly they can pick-up these skills when we allow them to explore. 

Despite only eating table food sporadically, boob man is doing great packing on those pounds, while avoiding the plague…..the diabetes plague. We plan to keep it that way. So, what do I recommend? 

Not a whole lot, except completely bypass the baby aisle at the grocery store. There is not a single “baby” product we would ever allow him to voluntarily ingest. They are nothing more than poisons in cans, bags, bottles, etc. I wish all those products would simply disappear so kids were not ingesting cancer, etc. 

Take-aways:

1.) Learn to steam vegetables

2.) Toss a bag of raw black beans in a crock pot for a day

3.) Cut up some fruit that has a heavy rind protecting it

4.) Toss some chicken breasts in a crock pot for a day

*Don’t over-spice or use any spices……Diablo will arise from the abyss!! 

 

Building a Co-sleeper

We decided to build a co-sleeper rather than buy one since we already had a crib not being used. We managed with items from around the house and garage. We figured we’d just push the crib up alongside the bed. Well, we quickly realized that wouldn’t work. Why? Because the crib mattress and our mattress were not level. I had two choices: use some redneck carpentry skills and modify the crib; i.e. drill new holes and chance his safety or build a platform for the crib. I chose the platform.

*After doing this I am glad we have a bed frame and didn’t drop it to the floor. It would have made securing the crib and changing sheets more difficult (not to mention dirt building under the mattress).

*I am also not a carpenter; not even a redneck carpenter. I overly strengthen anything I build (ask my dogs, they have a doghouse that could probably sustain hurricane force winds). If I can do it so can you.

What you’ll need:

1.) A wood pallet

2.)  Three or four 6-8ft 2×4’s

3.) A sheet of plywood

4.) A box of 2 1/2 in screws

5.) Two bungie cords or tie down straps

6.) A few pillows

7.) two or three hours of time

Where to start:

1.) Measure the width and length of the crib (this will give you the minimum dimensions of your base, but be sure to give yourself some extra room on each side)

2.) Measure the height of the top of the crib mattress to the top of yours (this will tell you how many inches you need to compensate for). Our crib could not be adjusted any further and it left is with an odd height to compensate for……this is how the wood pallet came to be part of the master plan.

3.) Once you know the size of your base dust your saw off, find the batteries for your drill, and gather your supplies in the driveway so all your neighbors can see you sporting your “skills.”

4.) Lay the wood pallet on the ground

5.) Cut three 2×4’s to length and secure to pallet lengthwise

6.) Cut two 2×4’s to length and secure across/under the three rows of 2×4’s (one on the left side of the base and other on the right side of the base)

7.) Cut your plywood to size and lay on top of 2×4’s (recheck the dimensions, don’t forget to recheck the height). If all is good fasten the plywood to 2×4’s and pallet with screws.

8.) At this point you have completed your base and can begin the install in the house, but if you prefer to paint go for it.

Installing the base (yes, it may not be sexy, but you have just saved a few hundred bucks, caught a tan, and can feel good knowing you built something).

1.) Lay the base next to your bed-frame. Does it sit flush with the frame, travel under, or over? Think about this because you’re going to have to secure the crib to the base and the base/crib to your frame. Our base was flush with the frame so it could not go over or under. To make it easy on myself I pushed the base all the way against the wall and pulled our bed against it. This ensured the base was secure without having to drill into the bed-frame.

2.) Once you are happy with the base configuration pull it out and put felt sliders/padding under the base so your flooring isn’t ruined. Return the base and bed to it’s new “correct” position.

3.) Place the crib on top of the base. Ensure the height of the crib mattress and your mattress is level/flush. *Note you’ll likely have a few inch gap between the mattresses because of the frame. DO NOT FREAK OUT!! There is a simple solution: push the crib mattress, from behind, until it’s flush/level with your mattress. Now simply place a long pillow between the back of the crib mattress and the back of the crib. The gap is now gone and being held in place safely.

4.) Now you need to secure the base to the bed-frame. How you choose to do this will differ, but should be relatively easy. Since my base was flush with the wall on one side and the bed-frame on the other I didn’t have to secure it. I simply checked to make sure it wasn’t going to move by kicking, pushing, jumping, etc. *Note that our bed-frame is designed in a way that prevents the base from moving towards the headboard so it’s completely secured on three sides. If he is jumping around aggressively enough to move the 50lb+ base in the last direction I am pretty sure we will wake up and be able to stop it.

5.) Now secure the crib legs to the bed frame. I like this technique over securing to the base because if a “worst case” happened and anything moved, his mattress would remain flush with ours. I simply took two bungie cords and wrapped them around the two crib legs (closest to our bed) and connected them to our bed-frame. These are connected tight because I didn’t want any movement. Another alternative is using the adjustable tie-downs.

6.) Now that it’s connected double check that it doesn’t move, mattresses are flush/level, correct position along the bed for mom, and any gaps around the outside of the crib, i.e. those towards the headboard or footboard that he could wander towards are fixed. This can be done with bumpers, pillows, etc. Just make sure he doesn’t have room to fall if he crawls out of the crib and heads towards the headboard or footboard.

7.) Now climb into the crib and make sure it doesn’t fall apart, jump up and down on the base, and pull at the crib vigorously. Once you are happy toss a sheet on the crib mattress, walk away, and crack yourself open a beer….you deserve one because you now rednecked your baby’s crib.

A Full-time Nanny (aka the Dog)

It’s official: we have two dogs (litter mates) and one believes our son is her “pup.” I have heard people talk about this phenomenon, but it’s, for the lack of a better word, “incredible” to watch.

Our two dogs are members of the wonderful, inspiring, politically motivated, prejudicial, hurtful, and grossly flawed list of aggressive breeds. Who am I to speak on this matter? More importantly kind Sir/Madam, distinguished members of the insurance world, who are you to speak on this matter?

Koni, not named after the dictator, but for her visible head “cones” from receiving concussions as a pup. She played hard and fought hard on those Dominican streets, but after 16+ months removed from that environment she (they) have become amazing pets. I know your thinking, “Why is this guy talking about his dogs? Is he that bored? I don’t care about his animals. Get a grip dude.” Before you depart let me “show you” what Koni, aka Babysitter Kone, does for our little guy.

Our dogs had always been on high- alert since they were raised in a crime ridden area. They learned and acted upon what the senior pack members taught them. Unable to leash train them, for their own security, we had plenty of work to do upon arrival back in the States. Thank God for the Joe the dog trainer; truly amazing.

Before arriving home from the hospital with our little guy we were slightly “nervous” how they would react since they have more energy than a meth addict on viagra (yeah…..paint that picture). From the moment we walked in the door they knew. Somehow, in someway, they just knew. That night, as we laid him down in his bed, they both silently laid down in front of him in the guarding position. The rest is history.

Ever since then Koni does not appreciate him being out of sight. While he plays she lays next to him. He crawls towards her and grabs her huge paws and face. She accepts it and just lays there. When she’s had enough she stands up, watching not to step on him, and moves a safe distance away from our little man’s “pincher claws.”

Koni walks with him everyday. Whether he’s in a stroller or harnessed she walks right along side him watching every person, car, animal, and looks to check on him when there is any “disruption from the norm” or the little guy makes a noise. If someone stops to talk with us she sits nicely, but on the alert. If you move to fast she becomes uncomfortable. She’ll move into a position of “oversight” as any good parent/babysitter/dog mom would do.

I have tried repeatedly to walk her without him. It always end in the same tug of war match: she gives me the middle finger, sits down (dead weight), and will not budge no matter how hard I pull. When I ask her what she wants we end up in a sprint back to the house. The first thing she does is run in and check on him.

If he is in the bed sleeping (yes, our bed since we are co-sleepers) she will have one of his toys, socks, or other articles in her mouth, or laying next to her. She simply loves her  “pup,” and refuses to be separated.

Recently someone “new” came over and Koni sat in her guarding position the whole three hours; something tells me if someone were to break in to our house a gun would be the least of their worries.

I digress……..We had our first “test” this past week. A few new neighbors were outside with three or four of their dogs (plenty of people combined with unknown animals is not on Koni’s list of “fun,” or “hoped for” encounters). Regardless, as good pet owners continuing to push these two into finding comfort in formerly uncomfortable places, we approached the group. We slowly introduced the dogs to one another and all was ok. We talked for a bit, etc. As fate would have it, well…….not really, as nature and normal dog actions would have it, one of the dogs stepped to close to the stroller. He placed his head under the stroller and “babysitter Kone” was there for the rescue. She gave out that warning of “Cease and desist” with amazing volume. She also stepped towards him (the dog) forcing him away. Not a tooth was show, no snarling, etc. just a simple warning of “Get your hairy mixed race/mutt tail away from my fake puppy son or else.”

We trotted home and it was just another day in the life of babysitter Kone. Until next time, keep protecting your/our little guy and exemplifying the “true qualities” of what a pit-mix can/should/will do.

How moms and my wife manage is beyond me

I am in awe of my wife’s ability to accomplish so much in a given day. Our little guy is solely breastfed and prefers eating “all night.” Then during the day he loves attention, constant attention, and must see your face. Toss in the fact that we have two extremely energetic dogs that need walked and played with all day and the daily chores: laundry, laundry, laundry, cleaning, cooking, working out, and grocery shopping.

Somehow she manages to accomplish all these activities everyday and even has time to cook healthy meals for us. God knows I couldn’t do it, but luckily she can. I am proud of her on many levels. Besides “groundhog day” everyday she also spends a lot of time researching and teaching both me and others about child safety. The difference one mom can make is far greater than I ever imagined. Thank you sweetheart for all you do. Our little guy is going to grow up to be healthy, smart, strong, and safe because she took the time, even when sleep deprived, to be selfless. Thanks for being you. I love you.

 

6.5 months old…..countdown to crawling “Baby Proofing”

I was expecting a few more weeks/months to baby proof, but apparently I am running out of time. He now spins in circles, can do more push-ups than myself, and trying to figure out how to propel is body forward. It’s only a matter of days and my to do list keeps growing:

Baby proofing:

1. Toilet seat latches

2. Cupboard and drawer latches

3. Mount all furniture to the walls

4. Tear out carpet and lay hardwood

5. Level the back yard, which has what appears to be a greyhound track, two beaches, and mine shafts from our dogs

6. All chemicals removed from the house

7. All items placed up high out of his reach for choking reasons

8. His own King Bed so I can have more than 12 inches at night

In all this list isn’t that vast, but when you toss in the fact that we spent the last month renovating our rental property, I am coming up on a law school final,  and now have to finish renovations here for our appraisal so we can buy another rental, only to start the process all over again, I need MORE time.

In the end his health and safety is number one so this week the work needing done for him starts. 

Teething and Natural Remedies

It’s with deepest sympathy that I must call out parents around the globe and say, “Are you really that ignorant?”

Today our son’s first tooth broke through the skin (finally). He is just shy of five months and it was painful for both him and us. We didn’t want to force tylenol or any other remedy down his throat. Our saving grace has been this magical chewing giraffe named Sophie; personally I don’t like Sophie because I don’t trust an animal that lets you chew on its face. Our second ingredient to success has been natural teething tablets. We have managed to use a very small amount of these tablets that dissolve on his tongue. Within seconds he calms down (at least as much as he calms down) and seems much happier.

I am not going to jump up and down and say teething gel, tablets, etc. are good or bad. Rather, I encourage everyone to look at the label, research the product, and try it for yourself before putting it in your infants mouth. We will stick with a low dose of these natural teething tablets when he needs them.

Our little guy views pacifiers like the plague or “last call;” they spoil all his fun so he refuses to acknowledge their existence.  At least we shouldn’t have a five year old walking around with a pacifier or binky dangling from his neck attempting to look like a trendy music artist.

Why would I question parenting or scream ignorance tonight? The answer is simple…….Google “natural teething tablets” and view the opinionated discussions between people. THE FDA DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU OR YOUR CHILD!!! Just because a product is not “ordained” by this profiteering government entity does not mean they are harmful. Do some research on products that are both FDA and others “Not evaluated by the FDA,” and tell me if you really think public policy and the protection of the general public is their reason for being. Another beautiful consistent opinion is that “Natural medications are bad, but Tylenol is acceptable.” Are you kidding me? Just remember Johnson and Johnson has shareholders, I don’t.

Have coconuts been evaluated by the FDA? Maybe they should be and then be deemed “Unacceptable” because Heaven forbid we allow nature to heal, nourish, and protect us.

While I am at it could other parents, I understand you are attempting to help, not explain to me what I am doing wrong? I welcome feedback, but not fiction in lieu of fact. We maintain our house between 73-75 degrees for our son. We regulate his body temperature well and have been extremely pro-active in ensuring he is happy and healthy. If I walk outside in the 65 degree weather for a few minutes with him in just a onezy, while pressed against my chest, he is not going to get sick. He doesn’t need to wear a beanie, hat, toque, etc. for the duration of a year because you think, “it will help regulate his temperature.” YOU DON’T GET A COLD FROM THE COLD!!!!

When a newborn is very young they are more susceptible to the elements. This is why you must be pro-active in regulating their temperature. If you don’t the “brown fat” they’re born with will be used by the body and the body can then wreak havoc on everything else.

Since our “little guy” was born naturally at 5lbs 6ozs, receiving only breast-milk in nourishment, and natural teething tablets and colic calm, he has been 100% healthy and now weighs over 17 pounds. Did I mention he has not been infected with the flu, hepatitis, or the bubonic plague by not receiving his vaccinations?

America, I love you, but your citizens are trying to steal my soul.

Congrats Little Buddy…….tooth number one down!!!!!

A layman’s legal viewpoint on Vaccine Liability

In an attempt to keep this as informative and also open to dialogue I will not insert opinion, bur rather use fact in regards to vaccine manufacturer liability. In the end I don’t have an answer for you, but I have my own person beliefs which I live by and they’re mine alone. Part of those beliefs are derived from this “protection” afforded to vaccine manufacturers which I will explain below.

In an attempt to give you a better overall understanding of tort liability in regards to products you need to know that three elements are crucial to both the plaintiff and defendant: manufacture, warning, and design. If the plaintiff can show that the manufacturer screwed up in any one of these areas the plaintiff can very well win a suit against the manufacturer.

However, in vaccine manufacturer liability only two elements can be used as points of contention: manufacture and warning. Why is this important? Because vaccine manufacturers can not be sued for errors or mistakes in the design of their vaccines. A toy company can be held liable for a bad design, but a vaccine manufacturer can not. I find it unfathomable that we hold vaccine manufactures to a less stringent standard than other companies. If anything I would hope they would be held to a stricter standard, but the law affords them this veil of protection.

Next time you are told you “should” receive are “must” receive a vaccine for employment or anything else just remember this…….you are relying on a company that is held to a lower standard than most others. Does it make sense? Shouldn’t the design have to be right? What if it’s wrong?

As you will see below I have copied and posted a few pieces from a 2011 US Supreme Court Case.
Essentially the Supreme Court held in 2011, based on the the National Childhood Vaccine Injury Act of 1986, that a vaccine manufacturer is exempt from tort liability provided manufacture and warning was proper.
SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED STATES
BRUESEWITZ ET AL. v. WYETH LLC, FKA WYETH, INC., ET AL.
CERTIORARI TO THE UNITED STATES COURT OF APPEALS FOR THE THIRD CIRCUIT
No. 09–152. Argued October 12, 2010—Decided February 22, 2011
“No vaccine manufacturer shall be liable in a civil action for damages arising from a vaccine related injury or death associated with the administration of a vaccine after October 1, 1988, if the injury or death resulted from side effects that were unavoidable even though the vaccine was properly prepared and was accompanied by proper directions and warnings.”
Provided that there was proper manufacture and warning, any remaining side effects, including those resulting from design defects, are deemed to have been unavoidable.
“…….although products liability law establishes three grounds for liability: defective manufacture, inadequate directions or warnings, and defective design—the Act mentions only manufacture and warnings.”

Wear your swimsuit on New Years Eve…….Fiscal Cliff jumping here we come

T minus two days. Do I hope our elected officials reach an agreement? Absolutely. Do I think they will? No, or at most worthless concessions.

Personally I am relatively safe from this fiscal debacle because I don’t have to pay taxes. I am extremely lucky and thank God for that. However, as a Medicare user I may be affected. Thank God I have alternative health insurance, but many are not so lucky and I feel for them.

I have one simple point to make because I think people don’t understand where this tax issue came from. The reason everyones taxes could increase are because the Bush Era tax cuts are set to expire. Yes, you might have to concede that he wasn’t the anti-Christ like many people claimed and still do. Because of his administrations policies our taxes were what they were. Now they are set to expire and as a result everyone could see significant increases in taxes. However, I have a solution to this problem. On New Years Eve when the clock strikes midnight anyone who was against the Bush Era tax cuts will receive a New Years surprise. Your bank account will automatically be deducted for the amount of taxes you saved since Bush’s tax cuts were implemented and put towards the deficit. This way you can still bash Bush for his tax reform while helping our country avoid a disaster.

Tis the Season……for ANGRY sperm donor rants

My wife and I were discussing this recent trend of people airing their extremely personal problems on social media sites. Obviously everyone is entitled to their own opinion and many may not like my own, but that’s ok. I am a big boy who can take his lumps.

If your “sperm donor,” as you call him, is a disgrace of a human being and a dead beat dad I am truly sorry. However, if he is a “sperm donor” what does that make you? A sperm depository.

Take offense if you will, but just trying to level the playing field for a moment. I know both moms and dads who walked away from their families. I have a feeling statistics would show it is more often dads who unfortunately abandon their families, but it is still an issue affecting both parents (most importantly the kids). I have never seen or heard a man refer to his child’s mother as a “sperm depository” so can we please stop the distasteful name calling? For all you sperm donors and sperm depositories out there I salute you…..provided you are affiliated with a “bank.”

Apparently He is Now Nocturnal……We Must All Have Alzheimer’s

I have come to the conclusion that we all suffer from Alzheimer’s. We remember the good things, but as time ticks away all those “difficulties” and “troubles” fade into the land of forgetfulness. Parents lie! But they do it because they love us. Or is it more simply a result of forgetting? I am sure I was a handful as a bambino, but my parents omitted many of those facts over the years. Now that I am a parent I am sure I will suffer that same fate; remember the good (his smiles, goos and gaws, and how he made me laugh), but suffer an “Alzheimer” relapse long enough to forget the sleepless nights, back-pain, and new life of completing simple tasks a few moments at a time, just long enough to fertilize another egg. NO!!! We are not currently expecting another one and I love our little guy more than anything. I had to clear that up before you “Negative Nancy’s” tell me I am mean, heartless, and without emotion.

It’s now 4:08 am and the little guy decided he no longer wishes to sleep, but would rather smile, suck his hand, speak his simple language, and bounce in his chair. Doesn’t sound to bad right? Many people are waking for work for the day so this shouldn’t be anything challenging, but for those of us who have conflicting schedules have to adapt and fight through their “sleeping pills” to take care of what’s important. I guess today is my 24 hour shift……my wife deserves a break. I don’t know how I became so lucky, but my wife is the most amazing mother and wife.

Our son, aka Little Buddy, does not like to sleep. Maybe he’ll be a truck driver or a doctor who is always on call. He’ll be what he wants to be. I digress. Parenting is this amazing practice of “art” combined with intuition. What works one minute fails the next. A method of calming an infant one day can be detested the next. Did I mention I need to go to the Chiropractor? Little Buddy does not like pacifiers, hats, gloves, sleeping (especially  when not curled up next to my wife), sitting still, or anything for long. However………he loves the CHICKEN! What is this chicken I speak of? It’s the dirty diaper changing technique that makes him smile from ear to ear. As soon as I pull that diaper off of him I lift both his legs into the air with one hand like a chicken. It’s probably normal, but we both smile and “giggle” at each other while I clean him up. He also loves “numb numbs” or “nummers,” aka boobs. He is only a few months old and already a smart little man.

I don’t know how my wife manages to do it, but she does. She feeds our little guy all day (he is an amazing eater), finds time to cook, clean, play with the ever needy dogs, and keeps Little Buddy calm so that I can focus on my school work while trying to reach the end of the world wide web. Thank you Canada……..I am a lucky man. I am going to be lost when she goes back to work. My safety net will be gone and I’ll quickly realize even more how much work she accomplishes in a day. A few more months and it will just be me, Little Buddy, the two ever needy and energetic dogs, and my law books. Can we pause the clock?

In closing, I hope to suffer from Alzheimer’s like all other parents just long enough to continue growing our dual citizen family. My guess is a half-dozen!!!!

 

The Difference One Word Makes……a great day.

The shock and aw factor…….My wife asks me if I have given up. She may be right, but I stand behind my dirty hippiness.  Every night I pray that I wake up the following morning with my full head of ever growing “Locks of Gold.” So far the scissors have not come out; could this be why I have insomnia?  Anyhow, the real subject matter.

We had our two-month appointment with the Pediatrician today and we are very happy with the outcome. I am not one to jump up and down about infants development because it’s a roller coaster, but he is two months ahead of the power curve and growing rapidly. Our biggest concern going in was the push back for refusing vaccines. We had already talked with her prior to joining the practice when my wife was still pregnant and she told us it wouldn’t be an issue. Today was the day of reckoning.

The Nurse asked us if he had his shots and we said, “No, and he wouldn’t be receiving any today either.” She had that look of “really, another one” on her face and gave out a slight sigh and proceeded to explain that we should at least think about the Whooping Cough vaccine…….Pertussis vaccine, my arch nemesis. We kindly refused and my wife simply stated, “I am an RN so I understand.” At that point she completely backed off trying to convince us and brought us the evil “Vaccine waiver.” We had known the waiver would come out and had already talked about it. We were not going to sign anything that stated we were placing our child at risk. She brought us the waiver, we refused to sign it, and she  told us to speak with the doctor about it.

Shortly before leaving the doctor asked us to sign the waiver. We explained to her that we understood the liability and why she needed it signed, but we couldn’t sign it because of the verbiage and offered to bring in a supplemental one we could both agree on. She made the decision even easier………”What part don’t you like or agree with,” she asked. We pointed to the area that stated something to the effect of, “We will be placing his health at risk by refusing to vaccinate.” We explained we didn’t in fact feel his health would be placed at risk by refusing to vaccinate. She simply crossed out the word “will” and added “may.” With one simple word change the entire dynamic and enforcement of a document can go out the window. Obviously we would have preferred to write in “will not,” but that wouldn’t have worked.

Many people might not capture the power of a simple word. What it did was take us from a place of “definiteness” to uncertainty/ambiguity. Talk about a change in legal ramifications. Yes, we may be overly cautious, but that is our right and we are happy she worked with us today. She simply explained for us to be proactive with his health and keep him away from anyone who’s sick since it’s that time of the year.

Another battle fought and another victory for the little guy!

Nine Hours Until the Pediatrician Hears Us Refuse Vaccines

We have our two month follow up with his Pediatrician in the morning. She is wonderful and comes highly recommended and we hope our relationship continues. We refused vaccines when he was born, kept him in eyesight during out hospital stay to ensure a random needle wasn’t accidentally inserted, and don’t plan to renege on our promise to his health. At two months the doctors like to start injecting these infants again……..we don’t and will not agree.

We have heard horror stories from parents who end up “shopping around” for Pediatricians because they often don’t like anti-vaccine families. If we are turned away than so be it, but we are confident and hopeful she will understand. We were told that her office requires anti-vaccine families to sign a waiver indicating……”You acknowledge you are placing your child at risk by refusing vaccines.” Well…………….we completely disagree with that bullshit and will never sign a document indicating we are placing our child at risk when in actuality we are preventing potential harm. This is where things might turn ugly. I will say my prayers and hope for the best.

We have and continue to research vaccines and the “Pharma vaccine money trap.” We firmly believe that the possibility of contracting a disease from not being inoculated and suffering long term consequences as a result are far lower and less likely than a child is to develop complications from vaccines. When you see the number of “severe” complications from vaccines reported to VAERS it should alarm you. It did us and we won’t be one of their statistics.

Study Suggests Kids Born Predisposed Liking Similarities to Themselves

I was watching 60 minutes and they had  story about Yale Universities baby lab and some of their recent research. What intrigued me was that infants, as young as few months old, seem to be able to detect objects that look similar to themselves. They overwhelmingly prefer (pick) an object that resembles themselves. Why does it matter?

For many people they might not consider this “new” or worthy of investigating, but I find it perplexing and a great talking point on attempting to raise children without bigotry and racism. Whether we want to admit it or not we are all in fact prejudiced. We have developed reasons to be bias towards one thing and not another. How? That discussion would likely continue forever.

We are fortunate living in an area with white, black, hispanic, asian, and other races/ethnicities. Therefore our son will be exposed to “differences” and that should be fostered and even strived for. I believe if we truly want our children growing up not having many of those same “thoughts” and “prejudices” we may have we must teach them from an early age. The only way this works, in my opinion, is if people truly understand talking about race relations is not a faux pas. Our children are going to see differences, but we have a job to teach and show them that differences are good. We have to be aware of what our children learn and see even when we don’t realize it.

What does a white redneck from Pennsylvania know about race and human interaction? Well, I will say I learned a valuable lesson early on in my college years. I grew up saying this random statement which meant nothing to me. I didn’t know where it was derived from, what it meant, and also how racist it was. I was at work one day and I happened to say it to one my friends and co-workers; she was a black woman. She didn’t respond and I continued working for the day. The following day we were working together and she said to me, “You know that statement you made to me yesterday, I couldn’t believe you’d say something like that.” I must of had that deer in headlights look because I was clueless. I asked her what I had said and why she was offended. She explained to me that I had said a very racist comment about black people being lazy. I was shocked. I felt absolutely terrible and quickly apologized. I explained to her that I had never known that and would never repeat it. It was a valuable lesson for me; something I picked up somewhere during my childhood without even realizing it. So that’s me……..I claim I am a reformed white redneck and know our son won’t be lead down that path.

My wife is the “cultural guru” in our family. She was born in Canada to a Belizean immigrant mother and 2nd generation Ukrainian father. She was then raised throughout childhood in Japan, learning Japanese as her first language in school, and speaking English at home. After a few years she was back in Vancouver, BC. Anyone who has ever been to Vancouver knows it’s an amazing city with diversity spewing at the seams. She spent her adult life there growing up appreciating different cultures and not thinking about race as many of us Americans do. We later both moved to the Dominican Republic for a year before moving here to Florida.

Our child is sure to have an interesting family tree and hopefully enjoys that fact. Our duty as his parents are to remain aware of what he is learning, from where, and teach him the beauty different cultures add. I pray he is the kid who looks and sees color, but never in a negative light. We all started out olive/brown skinned (based on my Christian beliefs) and within a few more generations I feel that canvas will become similar again.

If anyone has recommendations for books and other teaching materials helpful in relaying this message to our son we’d greatly appreciate it.

Life Insurance Considerations

No, we are not expecting the Grim Reaper to make an unpleasant stop anytime soon, but the reality is we should all prepare our families as best we can should the unthinkable happen.

I have carried life insurance since I was 21. My wife was recently approved for a policy and our son was also approved for his policy. I know I know……….why does the stay at home dad need insurance? Why does a baby need life insurance? See below.

Often people don’t think of other potential factors besides the loss of income from the bread winner should she/he die. The reality is imagine if the stay at home spouse passes away. Isn’t it reasonable to expect added expenses like a nanny, childcare, etc? We think so. Precisely why it’s imperative to carry a policy sufficient for your needs including both spouses. I won’t get into the “art of insurance,” and save that for another day. Needless to say we ran many, many, many, many formulas to develop our policies.

Why would we insure our son? For a few reasons: at 18 he can cash out and keep the money for college or buy an El Camino, at 18 he can take control of the policy and modify it for his life’s needs, and since he is now insured no matter what life throws at him, he is 100% insurable for life.

How much is enough? How much is too much? Universal, term, permanent, or whole life? What about an employer’s plan?

All these questions must be answered for yourself. How we did it was by working backwards. We plan to be retired by 55 (at least have the option) and should be financially secure then. Therefore after 55 we don’t see a benefit to paying the premiums. We will rely on our investments, savings, etc. From there we constructed life insurance policies that provided maximum benefit with minimal costs and for amounts sufficient to pay all bills for a period of 10-20 years. It’s not a science since debt, bills, etc will continually change, but it provides for a nice safety cushion and transition time for the other spouse.

In the end we have different policies: term, universal, and whole with riders included. It’s a bit of a zoo, but makes complete sense to us and follows our plan. There is plenty of room to change them should we desire, but for now we are content. Hopefully we never have to use them, but just in case it’s nice to know we are all covered. I would recommend to anyone who thinks they are too young or don’t need a policy to reconsider. What would happen if you woke up tomorrow disabled and unable to secure insurance?

Child Education Considerations

In 18 years, should our little guy choose to attend college, we would like to be able to contribute a significant portion towards his education. The reality is the projected cost of a four-year public education in 18 years is $205,000. Yes, you read that correct, $205,000. Sounds impossible, but not so. I won’t bore you with the numbers and how they’re derived, but we used a few sources and a financial advisor to reach the 205k conclusion. Based on current and expected rates of return using a 529 plan with an aggressive approach, we would need to pay into the 529 plan approximately $415/month to reach the goal.

Do parents need to contribute 100% towards a child’s education? No. There are many alternatives. Our parents would have loved to of given us that “free ride,” but the reality is many parents are unable. Between my wife and I we have two bachelors degrees, two master certificates, and law school tuition paid for the remainder of my education. We have been and are very fortunate that we have zero loans and won’t incur any. We hope our son will take advantage of alternative ways to pay for college tuition, but just in case he doesn’t or can’t we want to help. The best way to do that is early planning and implementation like we have done and are doing.

After digesting the numbers, looking at typical financial aid received, grants, scholarships, etc we discovered that roughly 60% is the magic number needed to walk away from college loan free. What this means is our goal is $123,000. If we pay in $250/monthly for the next 18 years that totals $54,000. With expected returns and compounded interest we could hit $123,000 equalling 60% of tuition costs in the year 2030. He should be able to attend school for free provided we stay vigilant on paying into his future.

Why a 529 plan? We did not want to pay into a state run program, wanted to maintain control of the money up until he is 18, and in the event he decides not to attend college the money can be used for other purposes. The 529 through one of our banks is the best fit in our opinion. I implore anyone to consider tax implications, etc. Speak with a professional and don’t rely on mine or others personal opinions.

If he ends up being one of those whiz kids and desires that coveted “Ivy” piece of paper he had better save early and hard. Otherwise he will have to sign a few autographs, shake some hands, and/or shed some tears hoping people contribute to his 529 and/or marry into money. I am not against that approach; options should be left open.

Making Baby Wipes

In this economy it can’t hurt to save a few bucks and also know what product you’re applying to your child’s skin. Here is a simple recipe we use to make all our wipes.

*Note, if you don’t feel “manly” enough as you do this dad I recommend you put on a pair of ankle biter sweatpants, an old ripped t-shirt (maybe one with a Beer logo), then proceed.

Collect two large coffee canisters and clean thoroughly.

1. Cut a roll of paper towels in half. (a serrated knife, sawzall, or chainsaw will do the trick)

2. Remove the cardboard from the center.

3. Place each roll in its container.

4. Boil 2 cups of distilled water.

5. Add 2 tbsp of liquid castile soap to a measuring cup.

6. Add 2 tbsp of unrefined virgin organic coconut oil to the measuring cup.

7. Add 6-8 drops of tea tree oil to the measuring cup.

8. Add the boiled water to measuring cup.

9. Mix thoroughly.

10. Pour one half of liquid over paper towels in each container.

11. Wait until they cool and enjoy.

*Note you will likely tweak the recipe for your needs. We use a little extra coconut oil so they stay more moist. Also, if you only want to make 1/2 a roll at a time cut the ingredients in half.

Maintaining His Privacy

We live in a world surrounded by intrusion. Most of it is self induced by using social media, but we want to maintain his innocence for him until he is able to make those decisions for himself. As a result my wife and I decided we will never post a picture of him anywhere on the internet or in public.

I might be a hypocrite for using social media and the internet to tell you ours and his life story, but it does provide me a little comfort knowing his face won’t be blasted in yours or my status updates. If this offends any of you proud parents I apologize. I don’t mean to offend anyone. I believe we are all free to make our own decisions and we have chosen to keep his identity relatively private for now. Maybe when he is President of the World he will thank us for our decision.

The 5 S’s to a happy baby

• Swaddling: Tight swaddling provides the continuous touching and support your baby is used to experiencing within the womb.
• Side/stomach position: The infant is placed on their left side to assist in digestion, or on their stomach to provide reassuring support. “But never use the stomach position for putting your baby to sleep,” cautions Karp. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is linked to stomach-down sleep positions. When a baby is in a stomach down position do not leave them even for a moment.
• Shushing sounds: These imitate the continual whooshing sound made by the blood flowing through arteries near the womb.
• Swinging: Newborns are used to the swinging motions within their mother’s womb, so entering the gravity driven world of the outside is like a sailor adapting to land after nine months at sea. “It’s disorienting and unnatural,” says Karp. Rocking, car rides, and other swinging movements all can help.
• Sucking: “Sucking has its effects deep within the nervous system,” notes Karp, “and triggers the calming reflex and releases natural chemicals within the brain.”

Colic Medication

We are part of the 40% that have a baby with colic. It happens, not typically in a breast fed only infant, but for the time being he has mastered his art of turning bright red and using those overly developed lungs of his.

Our saving grace? Breasts, an exercise ball, and colic calm. Since I lack the mammaries I am stuck counting my thousands of repetitions bouncing him on the exercise ball. It’s not all that bad; I get a work out, he calms down, and it prevents me from falling asleep.

There are a few colic medications on the market, but only one is all natural, contains no sugar, sucra, fructose or any other way they can deceive you or I into buying a diabetic inducing “gripe water.” It’s called colic calm and available at many retailers. Yes, you will spend about $20 for a hefty supply of liquid black licorice, but it’s better than paying for his insulin later.

Chiropractic Care

At week three we took him into our local Chiropractor for an evaluation and adjustment. His sacrum was slightly out of balance and his spine a little out of alignment, but that’s been corrected. We will most likely continue with monthly adjustments throughout his life. If you think of the pressure exerted on an infant traveling through the birth canal it seems obvious that their alignment would be off. He faired well, probably because he was only a little guy, so not much manipulation was needed to square him away.

Chiropractic care has proven to prevent many health problems in infants and kids. Children who continue to undergo treatment consistently prove to maintain a healthier and happier development. Each person needs to make that choice for themselves, but I would take an adjustment over a chemically derived medication any day.

Why Nutrition and Exercise is Paramount during pregnancy

We have had our one week and two week check-ups with our Pediatrician and the little guy has already gained a pound. He is doing great. What we learned since his birth was without my wife’s healthy diet and exercise, she was at Zumba the day before delivery, we may have lost him.

My wife’s placenta was the smallest our Mid-wife had ever seen. There were no medical or social factors that should have caused it. What we are hoping was that it was a “fluke” with the egg that was fertilized. However, for this little guy to make it 41 weeks living through a lifeline the size of a fist shouldn’t have happened. We are so happy it worked out and he was not a statistic.

Eat healthy, exercise, and keep the stress as minimal as possible during pregnancy.

Delivery

It was 6:00pm as we pulled up to the hospital. We walked into the hospital and she checked in……..we notified them she was currently having contractions every two or less minutes lasting longer than a minute a piece. We raced up the elevator to labor and delivery at about 6:30 and settled into the labor room.

We gave our birth plan to the Nurse and started talking about basic paperwork, but that was quickly cut short by contraction after contraction. I decided I would start a bath for her. That was right about the same time she was examined when we checked in………we had slightly overstayed at home!!! The mood changed and the Nurse told me to turn the bathtub water off. She was frantically trying to reach the Midwife and that’s when about 10 other Nurses showed up.

At this point the baby’s heart beat was no longer found, there was no Doctor or Midwife, and we were told there was no more time. I wasn’t really sure what was happening so I continued to focus on my wife’s breathing and helping her through each contraction. My wife was doing amazing fighting through each contraction without an ounce of medication. The Nurse kept calling out numbers and readjusting my wife’s posture when finally she said, “We have to push!”

After two pushes the Nurse delivered our baby; the time was 6:50. Within 50 minutes of reaching the hospital my wife gave birth to our first child with not a single intervention. He was quickly whisked away to the other side of the room and I was nervous. I wanted to know what was happening. There were numerous Nurses working on him when I heard that first cry……we were both still in a state of confusion and shock, but we slowly found out what was happening.

Our son was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and wasn’t breathing. He was whisked away so they could resuscitate him. Luckily he started breathing within seconds and he was going to be ok.

After the longest few minutes of our lives, especially for my amazing wife after what she just endured bringing him into the world, we had him in our arms. He had the biggest eyes and just gazed at us. He was delivered by a Nurse just as I had been. Hopefully this is a family trend that ends with him!!!!

Laboring at Home

It was 40 weeks and 6 days…..a typical Wednesday when my wife woke up and said, “I think today is going to be the day.” About 6:30am she started feeling “new” and “stronger” contractions. I asked her if there was anything I could do and she said, “No.” So I went back to bed.

About 11:30am she was having those same contractions and we were happy knowing the pregnancy was progressing, but how are first time parents really supposed to know? I woke up and loaded the car. I took my time and kept checking in on her. Later we went for a walk around the neighborhood trying to keep moving and stopped every time a contraction would start. It was a great learning process because I was able to see what she wanted and didn’t want during strong contractions; ie no questions asked of her, no personal touch, etc. We knew 4-1-1(four contractions within one hour and longer than a minute in duration a piece) was the magic formula we were waiting for. We had no intentions of laboring at the hospital any longer than needed, so we stayed home and tried to remain as comfortable as possible.

Knowing a little about us you should have expected some last minute heroics; we didn’t disappoint.

It was about 4pm when she climbed into the tub. She felt a lot better laying in the water and I decided it was time to clock the contractions. She had already timed them earlier, but the duration was spastic, typically less than a minute. However, when I started the clock this time it was different. Within the first 10 minutes we had four contractions lasting longer than a minute…..my wife said to me, “I think we need to go now.” I was in complete agreement and we jumped into the car and headed towards the hospital at 5:30pm. We arrived after a full 30 minutes of completely incapacitating contractions. The hardest thing you will ever witness is seeing your wife in pain knowing you can’t do anything to relieve it.

40 Weeks

As we approached 40 weeks our anxiety started to peaks its ugly head because at 42 weeks a Midwife is required to step away as the primary; we knew the MD, but didn’t want to lose that relationship built over nine months just before the big day.

We hoped for the best, but new most first time mom’s go past their due date and closer to 42 weeks than early. My wife constantly had contractions, but nothing major and no indication things were progressing.

That all changed at 40 weeks and 6 days……….

A Simple Florida Birth Plan

After digesting the Florida Laws and Statutes, we came up with a simple, yet effective birth plan to present to our Mid-Wife and the hospital. Our intent was to cover all the required bases, but maintain its simplicity for ease of use. You can search the world wide web and find many examples, but make sure they conform to your states requirements and the hospital/practitioners guidelines.

We called the hospital and spoke with the “Nurse Manager,” to ensure we didn’t go over board with an overly complicated birth-plan. We were relieved after speaking with her and below is our birth-plan. You will notice we tried to keep the tone even keeled and neutral. We didn’t believe an abrasive and “demanding” birth plan puts the caregivers in a position conducive to our desires. We also plan to take in some snacks for the labor and delivery staff. Everyone likes a little snack to keep them upbeat and happy working under those God awful artificial lights all day and night.

Birth Preferences for Katrina & Luke

 

Due Date:  September 13^th, 2012                               Baby’s Name:  XXXXX XXXXX

Support People:  Luke (My husband), XXXXXXX (My doula)

Primary Caregivers:  XXXXXX XXXXXXX (Midwife – Name of Practice)

XXXXX XXXXXX (Pediatrician – Name of Practice)

Labor and Birth:

• I would like subdued lighting and to have as little noise as possible.
• Please don’t offer me pain medications, I will request them if needed.  I prefer a natural birth and using comfort measures like the shower/tub.
• Intermittent Doppler monitoring is my preference over continuous fetal monitoring.
• I would like to avoid an episiotomy unless it is a medical emergency.  I would prefer assistance in protecting my perineum (e.g: warm compress, controlled pushing).
• Limited cervical checks.
• As long as the baby and I are fine, I would like to be free of time limits on pushing.
• Maximum movement and position changes.
• Juice, water, and high-energy snacks.

3^rd Stage of Labor:

• Immediate skin-to-skin contact after birth.
• I plan to exclusively breastfeed and would like to immediately after birth.
• Husband to cut the umbilical cord.
• 24 hr. rooming in with my baby.
• Minimal to no suction.

Newborn Care:

• I would like to postpone newborn procedures until I have had a chance to bond with my baby (1 hour after birth or after the first feeding).
• We are declining the Erythromycin eye drops and have prepared a signed waiver.
• We are declining the Vitamin K injection and have prepared a signed waiver.
• We do not want vaccinations (Hepatitis B) administered to the baby.
• Either my husband or I will stay with the baby at all times and would like the newborn procedures to take place in our presence.
• I prefer that my baby does not receive a bath.
• We are not circumcising our baby.
• No bottles or pacifiers please.

Considerations:

• We would like to follow our birth preference to support a quiet, relaxed and natural birth.
• We appreciate that we must be flexible in our choices if things do not evolve in the way we wish.
• We request that all options are examined and that we are given accurate information.
• We gratefully respect that we are given sufficient time to discuss the proposed course of action.
• The safety of our baby is paramount and we do not wish to put him in any danger.

Thank you so much for your support!!

Vaccine Laws

We spent a lot of time researching vaccine manufacturers, reading medical journals, scientific studies and talking with many medical professionals before we came to some of our conclusions. I come from the think tank of “Luke,” which means I am terrified of needles so if I don’t need it, I am not getting it. I believe in “rights,” specifically the “patient bill of rights.”

After doing significant research, not just watching an episode of Dr. Phil or Oprah, we decided there may be a link between vaccines and medical problems. Autism seems to be the “big one,” but we are also concerned about ADHD and others. Personally I was heavily vaccinated as a child and adult thanks to the wonderful world of Big Pharma and the military, but I haven’t received a single vaccine in almost five years now and don’t plan to change that. Does that mean we are anti-vaccine? No, we just believe there is no reason to make unneeded and hastened decisions because someone in a white coat tells us we should. Not to mention that a new study was just published showing 79%-81% of new cases of whooping cough are found in the vaccinated population. Maybe Sanofi Pasteur should have run some extra tests and realized their vaccine doesn’t work for the 5+ years as advertised. The manufacturer admits they never tested it and verified it would protect for 5 years, but why stop the money train? Keep unloading those lots of “crack” until you have a new and improved vaccine that you can mandate on people to fill your pockets again. Maybe vaccinate using your old(current) one and then supplement that with your new drug of choice; double those profits.

In the United States there is no Federal Law protecting you from mandated vaccinations. Trust me, I researched it and it’s been challenged numerous times since the 1850’s all the way to the Supreme Court. Most people think they can hide behind “Freedom of Religion,” or the first amendment; however that is not true at the Federal Level.

48 of the 50 States have passed state laws allowing refusal(granting protection) of vaccines under philosophical or religious beliefs. Thank God Florida is one of them. Here in Florida you have to object on grounds of “religion.” It doesn’t have to be a sanctioned or recognized religion, so in essence you can object based on your own made up religion. You simply must provide a copy of your objection to the hospital before birth and prior to your child attending daycare or school, you must have a signed form from the county health department.

Will they,the bad guys, stop there? Absolutely not. In Florida, if you and your family receive state Medicaid or WIC, you will lose your monthly entitlements if there isn’t a medical reason for refusing inoculations. Heaven forbid we let the poor or unfortunate Americans make decisions for themselves. Maybe the state motto should be, “Once we make them dependent and sick we can keep them that way.”

Did I mention until just recently you received better food rations from WIC if you opted for formula over breast feeding? Sorry, my blood pressure is rising so I will have to move on.

We are not anti-vaccine, I am, but my wife was never overly concerned. Now after spending a lot of time researching we have decided we will start with a delayed vaccine schedule and see where it takes us. That means no Hepatitis shots for the newborn. I don’t plan on him being sexually active anytime soon.

What to Buy for the Little Guy?

My wife and I are simple; I know I know, I got lucky. The only things we bought are a new crib, dresser(used) for a changing station, linens, towels, car seat and carrier, and used baby clothing($40). Our friends donated a pack n play, clothes(unfortunately some of the clothes have Florida Gators logos on them) and some other goodies. We have been blessed because we have everything we need except a stroller and only spent around $700.

We plan to use both cloth and disposable diapers, make our own baby wipes so we know what chemicals are in them(it’s also WAY cheaper), make our own baby food after breastfeeding days are over, glass bottles(no plastic), no microwave and only natural products on his skin like coconut oil for diaper rash.

Weird? Maybe. Concerned? Absolutely. Uneducated? Absolutely not.

Pensacola…….The Abyss of Proper Medical Care

We spent eight months preparing for childbirth. We found a Doula, Mid-Wife, natural child-birth educator who teaches classes at our house, a Chiropractor to adjust our baby after birth, a hospital conducive to our natural desires(because there is no birth center within a two hour radius) and a Pediatrician who is willing to work with our vaccine concerns. The average person might not have been able to find these same resources in the area, so since we already did the hard work for you, just ask and we’ll give you names. Don’t stress, we’ve got you covered.

Nature Prepared Women to Give Birth

We live in a society driven by pharmaceutical companies where doctors are chastised for thinking progressively. If a woman in a village thousands of miles away can give birth at home, in her hut, with only the local mothers available to assist, why can’t modern first world women do the same?

The answer, they can.

We spent the last eight months researching and changing most of our beliefs and expectations on childirth. We found it extremely difficult to find “good” resources locally.  Some might find our way of thinking strange or ignorant, but I beg to differ.

I work with an MD who treats me for my complex medical condition called, “Chronic Lyme Disease.” My treatment consists of both pharmaceuticals and herbal therapy. My doctor has two ND’s(Naturopaths)who work in his office and he himself is certified in Reiki. That’s the type of doctor’s office we should all hope for, but the reality is few exist within the United States. He is 3000 miles away from here, but he remains and likely will remain my treating Physician for years to come. I also believe in the power of chiropractic care. I found a local chiropractor’s office who has been the best I have ever worked with; keep in mind I have been doing chiropractic care since I was 18, for 10 years now, so this is nothing new to me. Recently the Doctor began working on my pregnant wife and it’s made dramatic improvements on her comfort level. We will also be having her adjust our newborn within the first week of his birth. My wife is a Registered Nurse(RN), whose specialized in pre-operative, post-operative surgery and critical care. She knows her medicine!!

We aren’t sheep or conspiracy theorists, we are both educated and believe in empowering ourselves and others through education. However, education results in change which goes against “the system.” We all know the system is resistant to change so we must force it.

Present Day……….34 weeks and counting

I gave a lot of background information because I wanted to document what we went through for us, our future kids and explain to you how we went from naive incubators to educated, cautious, and natural child bearing believers.

What we believed 34 weeks ago: childbirth is normal, interventions(c-sections, inducing, epidural) are ok, parenting classes are good, vaccines may or may not be good/bad, and babies are scary!!

What we believe now: childbirth is normal, but needs to be as natural as possible. Interventions should only be used when medically necessary to save a life. Parenting classes are a joke, unless you attend “good” ones. Vaccines should not be administered to infants, at least delayed a few months, some never administered. Babies are still scary!!

Doctor Hunting

After my wife spent about 3 weeks peeing on as many pregnancy sticks as we could afford we scheduled an appointment with a local women’s clinic. They confirmed she was in fact pregnant and gave us a due date of September 13th. By this time she was only about six weeks along so the idea of being pregnant and parents hadn’t fully set in. We just assumed we’d float along and figure it out. We hadn’t spent to much time researching doctors and childbirth because it was early, but that quickly changed.

After our first appointment with that OBGYN Nurse Practitioner we decided we weren’t going back there. The NP informed us she didn’t deliver babies and after doing some research found “hundreds” of complaints about that practice.

We started calling around, asked my Chiropractor, Masseuse and friends who they recommended. One name stood out so we contacted his office for a consult. After meeting with him we were happy and decided he would be the MD we worked with. After two appointments we stayed with his practice, but changed to the mid-wife. RELIEF!!!!!!!!!!!

Immigration

My wife is Canadian with a dual-citizen in her belly. We decided it was time to start her green card paperwork. We had already consulted with two immigration attorneys, one prior to moving overseas and the other after re-locating back to the States.

We mailed in all the paperwork, along with about $1500, and the waiting began. After about 30 days we received a notice for fingerprinting in New Orleans. We completed that and returned home. About 30 days later we received a notice to appear in Jacksonville for the infamous, “Interview.” We drove down the day before with our dogs, all required paperwork, pictures, etc and stayed at another “luxurious” hotel.

The morning of the appointment we were still a little nervous since reading peoples horror stories. We waited in line outside, the only english speaking people in line, and waited our turn to enter. We entered and met a nice security guard with a bit of an accent. He asked my wife, I guess because she is “slightly” better looking then myself he assumed she was the applicant, how many languages she spoke. She replied, “One.” The guy was a bit confused because my wife’s english was perfect and after 40 years he still had an accent. I don’t think he understood she was from Canada, the real Canada, not the French speaking “I’m better than you,” Canada. We sat down and waited. We saw many interesting people, people assisting others fill out paperwork in their native tongue and our favorites, the fat Americans with their young foreign brides.

We walked into the interview and were out of there within five minutes. The guy spent more time explaining how to get to the beach then he did asking questions. The questioning went like this, “When you receive your green card, I mean, if you receive your green card do you understand what you need to do with the paperwork?” “You’re pregnant I see”? “You were in the military Luke?” “Ok, now that that’s over, have a great day and check out the beach. You know we love our military around here.” We left and headed back to Pensacola. About four weeks later her green card arrived and my joking threats of having her deported no longer meant anything. She was an official green card holder and now she was able to apply for her RN licensing in Florida.

House Hunting Round Two and Closing……tossed with a little “Pregnancy Surprise”

We quickly went back to house hunting. We went back to one of the original properties we liked, which was a short sale, but we didn’t care anymore. Whether it took two months or 12, we wanted it.

We made an offer, the bank approved price, and waited. Our offer was accepted by the sellers within two days, but the rest was up to the bank. We spent Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years in our “Ghetto fabulous,” house, but started the new year off on a great note; the bank had accepted our offer and the house inspector had given the property a clean bill of health.

WE’RE HAVING A BABY!!!!!! We found out just days after the bank approved our offer and we were excited. This would be our first baby.

Within 90 days we had closed on our first property!!!!! We were excited. Now it was time for home improvements.

We pushed the bank to close a few days earlier so we could have a full month to renovate. Luckily, we had a great friend who helped us with the home improvements. We spent the next month laying tile, painting, fixing wood, trim and the anything else a house might need after being abandoned for 12 months.

We moved in and prepared for the next stage of life……Parenthood

House in the Ghetto

We were quickly introduced to our neighbors: we had the “zombies, aka crack/meth heads,” drunks, daycare next door and more of the same.

Our dogs did a great job keeping the crack heads off the property. However, there was one who liked his medicine a little to much. We came home one day and found him passed out on his front lawn. Someone had already called 911 and the paramedics showed up. It was ok, he was just hammered and refused medical treatment.

The American Dream continued.

Miami to Pensacola…….675 miles to go

We were now in Miami and settled into the pet friendly hotel. Now we needed a way to get from Miami to Pensacola. We had a rental car, but that wasn’t going to cut it. We headed out car shopping for the next few days looking for an SUV that would fit our four pets, kennels, luggage and two adults.

After three days we bought the perfect vehicle. The only problem? It was from a dealer and we all know dealers have one agenda…….to sell. After we cut them a check it was about 7pm and we decided to leave the car and would return in the morning. We returned the following morning and things were slightly off. We asked if the car was ready and we were told, “No, the guy who is supposed to detail it is running late.” We informed the dealer we didn’t care, we just wanted the keys and to be on our way. That’s when the truth came out. The dealership lost the only key!!! We were pissed to say the least. Now both my wife and I were being strung along so we went to the dealership manager. He was a d-bag. He didn’t care about fixing the one cosmetic thing we had asked for, wasn’t having the second key made which we agreed to in the contract, and now he was pissy that we were in his office. I explained that his dealership lost our only key. At that point the car salesman was called in and informed him that yes, the key was missing. Within an hour a new key was cut and the cosmetic defect was fixed. We were on our way.

We spent a few days driving from Miami to our new home, the ghetto Howard Johnson hotel in Pensacola. We didn’t know how long it was going to be, but it ended up being way longer than expected. We should have bought stock in the company.

Instead of house hunting(to buy) we decided to find a rental and then focus on finding our first home to purchase after. Normally we wouldn’t have agreed to waste money renting, but almost every house in the area was a “short sale,” so closing could take months to a year.

We started scanning every newspaper and online resource. The rental prices were descent, but everyone was strict with pets. Either the rental agencies refused to rent to us because our dogs were part pit-bull or they wanted $1000 or more in non-refundable pet deposit. We found that absurd and kept shopping. My wife found a property that was a great price, fenced in yard and pet friendly. She didn’t know the area well so I asked her the address. When she told me I immediately said, “No, that’s the ghetto.” We agreed to go check it out. That night we called the owner back and said, “We’ll take it.” We now had a car and a house in the ghetto, but coming from the crime ridden area we had lived in we weren’t scared in the least. We were just happy to have a house with a yard and be free from the hotel of horror. One last problem………Everything we owned was in storage in Pennsylvania.

The next morning I flew out of the local airport and landed in Pennsylvania. I spent the next two days loading a rental truck with everything we had in storage and started driving south. I had made that trip before so I knew I could make it in two days.

Two days later I arrived and we moved out of the hotel and into the rental house. We were relieved.

Miami Arrival…….Finally

It had been three long and grueling days, but I had made it. I was back on US soil and now needed to clear customs, pick up my luggage and dogs, clear customs again, and call me wife. I couldn’t call because my Dominican phone didn’t work from the States and there wasn’t a pay phone anywhere. I figured I would Skype her; nope, internet wasn’t working.

By this time I had a porter load all my luggage and pets onto a dolly. I told him I was sorry for smelling, but that sweet, nice old man didn’t mind at all. He snuck me to the front of the line and gave me his phone to call my wife. I told her I was almost through the airport so come and get us with the rental car.

I thanked the man and gave him a nice tip, then departed the airport to wait on my wife. I asked a stranger to borrow his phone for a second to call my wife and relay my coordinates. Finally, we were free. As my wife pulled up I was ecstatic. The trip from Hell was over, except for that cat piss smell which about brought her to tears.

Flight Check In

The porter pushed me to the front of the line; I was a zombie by now. I had two agitated “watchy” or guard dogs, a cat, two pieces of luggage and my backpack. I prepped the dogs kennels for the last time, gave them some water, zip tied the doors closed just in time for them to freak out and want to eat both the dog behind them and the airline attendants. As I watched them set them on the baggage belt I felt relieved. We were almost home. I paid my luggage fees, collected my boarding passes and began walking to the gate. The porter kept following me. I asked him what he wanted and he showed me his hand. I had had enough by now. I yelled at him in my broken spanish to go away. I had already paid him more than enough so go i insisted. I turned and kept walking.

As I waited for my row to be called the unthinkable happened; my cat pissed in his flimsy material carrying case. The smell about made me vomit, along with everyone else in the boarding area. I ran into the bathroom and washed him down, the bag, and my shirt/pants which were also hit with his massive projectile urination. I didn’t have anymore time.

I boarded the flight. As soon as I started down the isle the looks of disgust started appearing from everyone in every seat as I passed. “Screw them,” I thought as I began seeing images of me being that crazy cat lady who always has an extra hint of “perfume” on her. I marched to my seat and told the flight attendant that my cat had just pissed all over himself, his bag and me. The guy was a bit upset and told me I would have to leave the plane if it was that bad. I freaked out. I explained to him that I had been stuck in four airports for three days trying to get off the island and I had two dogs underneath. I wasn’t about to disembark this plane. He and his co-worker felt sorry for me and said, “Go to the bathroom and clean up the best you can, we’ll see what we have back here to help.” I asked if they had vinegar, but they didn’t. I was stuck with paper towels, water, and coffee grounds. I went into the bathroom, washed the cat down, cleaned his carrying case, rubbed coffee all over it, my pants and placed a garbage bag under the carrying case which I set under my seat. I apologized to the family in front of me and they understood.

As the plane took off I drifted into my first slumber in three days, not even cat piss could keep me from a few hours of much needed sleep.

Santo Domingo Waiting Game

There were no flights departing until my early morning flight so the airport was deserted, except for a few coffee shops, snack stands, random locals hanging out, and a security guard. I was able to find a few porters who were finished working for the night, but agreed to help me with all my luggage and kennels. I used my broken spanish to have them help me find a spot in the airport where I could sit, eat, relax a bit, walk the dogs, and show me where customs was at so I could pay the Dominican government another fee for taking my pets out of the country. I paid each of them about $25US, which was probably more than their weekly wage, but I was tired and thankful for the help.

I went to the window of one of the stands in the cafeteria to break a $100 bill, but they didn’t have change. It turned out, no one in the entire airport had change, so I went to the ATM. It was late, I hadn’t slept in about three days, and I made a huge mistake……I left my debit card in the machine. It sucked my card back in and now I had only large bills and a credit card, which wouldn’t have been such a big deal, except the country is almost completely cash only.

I sat down and ate, fed the dogs and gave them water, and pushed the two dollies outside so I could walk the dogs and let the cat out of his bag. The dogs loved the much needed exercise and I was happy to be outside in the fresh air.  I called my wife and checked in telling her I would be flying out in the morning and landing in Miami. I told her about losing my debit card and that was about the time my phone went dead; I was out of minutes on my Dominican phone. She called me back and I asked her to go online and reload my phone.

I headed back inside and let the cat sleep with the dogs in their kennels, he needed some extra space for a while since he was cooped up in his travel bag. I had hoped he had used the bathroom outside, but in due time I was about to find out otherwise. I pulled my computer out, with my campsite set up all around me, and tried connecting to the internet. Apparently I was in the only airport in the world without internet. Shit, I still had to contact the airline and change my flight and let them know I had three animals with me. I called my wife and she relaid the number to me. When I called the answering service told me that they were closed until the next morning and wouldn’t re-open until after my flight was to depart. That’s just great I thought. Oh well, I would make it work.

While I waited, starring at the clock and trying to do anything to block out the violent volume of merengue and bachata in the background, a nice security guard came over and introduced himself. It was obvious, he was bored. I wasn’t in the mood to talk, but figured  it couldn’t hurt to have him on my side throughout the night. It’s a crime ridden city, I was an easy target, and having to keep taking all my luggage and kennels outside was a pain in the ass. I chatted with him about family, the DR, America, and anything else that came to mind. I gave him all my snacks, soda, etc. as a gesture of good faith and asked him if he would watch my stuff as I walked the dogs again. He agreed.

I came back inside and the security guard had done his job; my belongings were still there. We talked for a little while longer, until the porter returned instructing me to follow him. He told me it was time to check the animals in at customs. I grabbed the animals and started walking, but he stopped me. “Paper only,” he said. Ok, I left the pets with my luggage, walked down to customs and the lady said, 500 pesos, roughly $15 dollars. I gave her a $100 bill…………she didn’t have change and wouldn’t accept it. So back to the ATM I went and was forced to use my credit card to withdraw cash to pay the government my gratitude for removing three pets from their jurisdiction. This was the 2nd or 3rd time I had now paid, since every airport charged me the same bogus fee(always different). I didn’t have the energy to argue and just wanted off the God forsaken island. I paid her the money and walked back inside. By this time it was check in time for my flight.

Departure Day Continued

This was now the third flight I wasn’t able to board because of cancellations and temperature limits. I was frustrated, tired, hot, and so were the dogs. I decided to take them for a walk, let them drink, and asked the cabbie to wait. He agreed. After a short walk I returned to the airport and asked the ticket agent what I could do. At this point I no longer had a car, place to stay, and my wife was in Miami waiting at a hotel. The ticket agent told me there was a flight leaving out of Santo Domingo the next morning that had room for the pets and it was my best chance in departing when the temperature was below 85 degrees. I said ok and asked the cabbie if he was “down with driving to the capitol.” He agreed. We had 18 hours until flight time and only a 5 hour drive so we decided to slow down and pick up some snacks along the way. The cabbie decided this was the perfect opportunity for him to start drinking. He finished his first 40 ounces of beer and moved onto rum. By the time we made it half-way, he no longer wanted to continue through the mountains and relayed to another cabbie that I was being transferred to him. We met up with cabbie #2 and loaded everything in his van. It was a treat. This taxi had air conditioning and a suspension. We drove through the night into the city. I called every hotel with 30 miles, but no one accepted pets. Well, there was only one option; head straight to the airport and wait it out. Since I was about to set up camp in the airport I had the cabbie take me to the grocery store. I stock piled groceries and of course, rum. We had a few sips on the way to the airport, I was feeling better about our situation. It was about 10pm when we arrived at the airport and I needed to eat, walk the dogs, feed them, get some water, and contact the airlines.

Departure Day

We had many concerns with exiting and arriving back in the States.

1. My wife was Canadian and we had issues last time she tried entering the US from Canada. Now she would be entering from another country.

2. We had two dogs and two cats. The airlines wouldn’t allow me to bring all four onboard myself; two under and one as a carry-on was ok, but that meant my wife would have to carry cat #2 with her. We refused to ever leave a pet behind like most people do when they leave the DR so we bought the necessary supplies, crates, Vet records, etc. We had 10 days to exit with everything we owned and four animals.

3. Only one airline was accepting pets for transport from the DR to the US and we needed a direct flight. Of course, Pensacola wasn’t one of those direct flights. The temperature at both exit and arrival airports needed to be below 85 degrees; a major problem in the DR since the temperature rarely drops that low.

4. We had recently purchased a vehicle in the DR and needed to sell it.

After reviewing our problems we developed a plan. We decided it was best for my wife to fly into Miami with one of our cats and clear customs before I boarded in case she was denied entry. Her story was that she would be spending a few days in Miami on vacation taking a break from DR living. If they really pressed the issue she would have family meet her at the airport; they live a few hours away. I would then finalize the sale of our car, close out our townhouse, find a way to get my luggage and three animals to the airport and fly into Miami.

I dropped my wife off at the airport and she took our American cell phone with her. She called me after landing in Miami and told me the good news,” I am in, no problems.” I breathed a sigh of relief and went back to my prepping. I ran around to a few places trying to sell our car; they low-balled us so I decided to leave it with a local family who buy and sell cars. I finished cleaning our house, packed, and found a way to get to the airport. I decided I would drive to the airport, leave the car in a parking lot, and a friend would pick it up and drop it off at the dealer. Sounded easy, but I should have known better.

I made it to the airport and unloaded the two dogs, cat, and all my luggage. I went to the ticket counter and checked in, but the temperature was over 90 degrees; didn’t look good. I waited until boarding time and the temperature never dropped so I was forced to load everyone and everything back in the car and go home. The property manager was nice enough to let me back in for a few hours so I could make some calls and change the flight.

After speaking with the airline the best option was to fly out of Santiago the next morning. This meant I would have to leave the house at 4am and drive through the mountains, but had no way of getting the car from Santiago back to our town. I decided to make some calls and wanted to hire a reliable driver to take me down in our car, but bring it back and drop it off at the dealer. The two “reliable” drivers didn’t work out. Neither wanted to drive through the mountains in the dark so early. I decided to drop the car off at the dealer and take a cab for the four hour drive. It was 4am and the cabbie showed up. I loaded the taxi with both dogs, cat, and luggage and we set out up and over the mountains via the windy roads.

I arrived at the airport and checked in. The temperature was below 85 degrees and the animals were loaded onto the plane. I was relieved, that was until it was departure time and the loud speaker stared blaring in excessively fast Spanish that the flight was cancelled. Everyone was fighting and arguing with the ticket agent, but I didn’t have that luxury. I pulled my laptop out and checked flights into Miami for the day. I realized there was an afternoon flight, four hours from then, that would be departing from my local airport. I rushed through security telling them I had two dogs on the plane so I was going to get them. I arrived at the baggage claim area and there they were in their crates scarred, hot, panting, and agitated. I placed all my luggage and all three animals in their crates on two dollies. I raced to the front ticket counter and had them change my flight to the Puerto Plata airport and had them give me a taxi voucher so I could be transported to the airport. I found an old, beat up taxi van, raced over and asked him if he’d take me to Puerto Plata. He was hesitant because we wouldn’t make it in time, but I convinced him. We threw the animals and luggage in and raced for the airport via new mountain roads. I thought my spine was going to explode and the wheels were going to fall off, but we kept cruising. While in transit I called the airport and said I was on my way with three animals. They said it was no problem, they had room, but the temperature was hovering right around the maximum limit. As the hours ticked by, with the temperature rising, I knew I needed a miracle. I called the airport and asked them if I had a local Veterinarian sign off that the animals were ok to fly even in extreme heat, would they allow it. They said yes. I called both Vets and one agreed to meet me. The only problem was there was only enough time to get to the airport or the Vet’s office. I opted for the airport. It was now 92 degrees and boarding time.

Exiting the Dominican Republic Preparation

We had many concerns with exiting and arriving back in the States.

1. My wife was Canadian and we had issues last time she tried entering the US from Canada. Now she would be entering from another country.

2. We had two dogs and two cats. The airlines wouldn’t allow me to bring all four onboard myself; two under and one as a carry-on was ok, but that meant my wife would have to carry cat #2 with her. We refused to ever leave a pet behind like most people do when they leave the DR so we bought the necessary supplies, crates, Vet records, etc. We had 10 days to exit with everything we owned and four animals.

3. Only one airline was accepting pets for transport from the DR to the US and we needed a direct flight. Of course, Pensacola wasn’t one of those direct flights. The temperature at both exit and arrival airports needed to be below 85 degrees; a major problem in the DR since the temperature rarely drops that low.

4. We had recently purchased a vehicle in the DR and needed to sell it.

After reviewing our problems we developed a plan. We decided it was best for my wife to fly into Miami with one of our cats and clear customs before I boarded in case she was denied entry. Her story was that she would be spending a few days in Miami on vacation taking a break from DR living. If they really pressed the issue she would have family meet her at the airport; they live a few hours away. I would then finalize the sale of our car, close out our townhouse, find a way to get my luggage and three animals to the airport and fly into Miami.

Pensacola Home Shopping Round One

We decided to test the housing markets in Pensacola after the housing bubble burst. After carefully digesting our finances and front-end/rear-end ratios we decided we would apply for a mortgage. Within a few days we breathed a sigh of relief; we were pre-approved for the mortgage amount we wanted. The potential upside was a mortgage cheaper than renting. The downside, being first time home buyers living overseas with our belongings another 1500 miles from our future new home.

We found a great realtor and she went to work for us. We narrowed our list to about 10 homes we were interested in viewing, but I needed to fly in and see them. I took a direct flight from Puerto Plata, DR to Miami. I rented a car and drove the 800 or so miles to Pensacola and checked into the luxurious Howard J………the ghetto Howard Johnson hotel. I spent the next four days viewing homes, taking pics, e-mailing them to my wife, and finally made an offer on a home. It was “perfect” and the only house we found that wasn’t a short sale………at least we thought. After waiting 24 hours we never heard back from the seller. Apparently the bank was in process of taking the property so we now had to go back to looking. We re-visited all the homes, but only found one that was again, “perfect.” We wanted to make an offer, but the seller’s realtor informed us that, “The owner’s are going through a divorce and I can’t move the property. They are not playing well with each other.” So I was left with no choice, but to drive back to Miami and hop on a plane back to the Dominican with no house. That was $2k wasted, should have known better.

We decided we would just focus on getting back to Pensacola and then we would look for homes after we arrived.

Belize or the USA

Most of my wife’s family live in Belize. Recently my mother-in-law retired and moved back there, spending a few months a year in Canada, but the rest of the time in her native country Belize. We thought about heading over that way, but from what she was telling us, the crime was even worse. If we were going to live there, within our income, we would  end up living in some undesirable locations.

We decided to head back to the States, the first world, and start over again. Where would we go? California if we could afford it, but without my wife’s green card, she wouldn’t be able to start working as an RN for a while and we just couldn’t afford it. I had a back up plan; Pensacola, FL. I had lived there for two years as a military flight student and it was a beach town with a low cost of living. We did our research and decided on Pensacola.

Not So Safe Complex……sigh

We moved into the new complex, a 1200 square foot apartment that provided ample room for my wife and I, our two dogs, and two cats. Outside in the lush courtyard were avocado, banana, palm, papaya, lime and coconut trees. We felt relieved. We had asked all the right questions before moving, like back up power, laundry facilities, utility prices, safety, etc. The answers all sounded great. There were three outside guard dogs, one or two gardeners during the day, and armed security at night.

It was only about two weeks into our lease that a piece of jewelry disappeared from our bathroom. “The maid,” and we told the property manager. After being told she would be fired, which never happened, we demanded a new trustworthy maid. Our new maid did a great job, but they fired her for being lazy or not doing a “good enough,” job. Logic was non-existant in that place.

A few weeks later our phone rang and it was from our friend, the Veterinarian’s wife, who had full time volunteers moving to the area and needed a place to live. We gave them some ideas and they looked at our complex. They decided to move in with their two dogs. At this point our complex now had seven dogs running free, defending the main gate with all their bark, chasing every moto that drove by and alerting the neighborhood(the cows and an abandoned complex) whenever a stranger walked down the road. It was a relief.

A few weeks after our friends moved in, their house was broken into and all her clothes were stolen. This prompted the addition of steal bars to all the windows. Once again, this only took about 6 weeks since it was still “Dominican time.” I sat down with the property manager and explained all the security flaws with the complex.

1. A thieving maid.

2. Night time security that sleeps on the job, they work 30-45 days straight 12-14 hour days.

3. Razor wire that wasn’t properly installed.

4. Walls that needed repaired and fences raised.

Our concerns fell on deaf ears.  A few more weeks went by and the “Banditos” struck again. This time they stole all our propane tanks used for cooking. That solution was fixed, they chained and locked the new tanks to the backs of the buildings.

It was about this time when we started losing power during the day. This was normal, but we always had a back up generator that would kick on. Well, there was a new problem. The back up generator was broken and we were without power for 12-18 hours per day and often at night. This wasn’t just unacceptable for comfort and food, but out of security. This turned us into our own security at night. I felt like we should have been getting paid for our services. With no power the entire complex had no lights which made us a prime target. I e-mailed the property owner and explained we had no power, the back-up generator was broken and the property manager kept promising it was going to be fixed. Well, the owner was upset. She was never informed of any problems and that same day a new generator “magically” appeared. We had power again. In the Dominican it’s estimated that 48%-51% of the island has illegally run electricity. This means, you neighbor has tapped into your wiring somehow and you are paying his bill.

Many problems, but slowly the kinks were being ironed out. That was until the crabby old hag moved in next door and complained about how her dog was stuck inside because of the “mean” pack of seven running wild outside. Of course, it was our two dogs, both females, who were somehow projectile urinating all over her front porch. It wasn’t the dominant male guard dog who pissed on everyone and everything. Lalo was the man. No car or motorcycle was to much of a match for him. That was our new neighbor, our girl from the midwest; she made me ashamed to be American.

A few months into our stay at our new place, gun shots could be heard in the distance. You kind of became numb to the sound after a while, but one night it was different. We heard a gunshot and dogs barking feverishly about 100 yards down the road. “Oh shit, I thought.” About an hour later, baboom!!!!! I knew that was our complex. I ran out the front door and found the security guard sweating, shaking, and yelling about “banditos.” Here someone tried to come over the wall and he shot at them. He missed, but chased them off. It wasn’t that unnerving at the time, but when we sat down and thought about it, it was time to move on. Once you reach the point where gunshots are being fired just outside your door and your first instinct is to walk outside and see if they “got em,” you need to rethink what’s important.

We decided it was time to move again, but this time off the Island we had known for the past year. Yes, we would miss the beautiful beaches, but not really anything else. We started planning.

Moving to a New and Safer Complex

After spending a month living in our townhouse, the gardener who we assumed set up the robbery remained employed on the grounds, we decided we wanted a new living situation. We started shopping around for a new place that worked with our budget. We opened up the local newspaper/National Enquirer and found a brand new townhouse complex. Despite it being a few miles away from our deserted and peaceful area(aside from nightly shootings) we went and checked it out. It was perfect. Brand new townhouses with a fenced in courtyard and pool for the dogs and “American” furnishings. It took about two minutes laying on a real mattress that we decided we wanted to move in and ASAP.

Our landlord wasn’t happy that we were breaking the 12 month lease early, but we didn’t care. We had to endure countless problems with the house: daily loss of electricity and back up batteries, security alarm going off at all hours of the day and night, a hot water heater replacement, door and window repairs, running electrical wires to a neighbors house to keep our food from spoiling, and her apparent disregard for the robbery. Anytime a repair was needed it took anywhere from 1-12 weeks for it to be accomplished half assed. She wanted us to pay her for the remaining six months of the lease; keep in mind this was a Canadian contract from a different Province which she was attempting to enforce in a third world country. It was an invalid and unenforceable contract. We knew we’d be out our security deposit, but we were ok with that just to be free of that hell hole.

After demanding a refund of our security deposit via e-mail we never heard from her again. Good riddens. We rented a car and moved down the street.

Our First Robbery

We came home from the beach and walked into the house; something seemed strange. I asked my wife where she put the computer, but it wasn’t there. I went upstairs to the loft and all our stuff was scattered everywhere. We had been robbed. Our computer was stolen, I-Pod, cell phone, a little money, but luckily they left our passports. We had gotten lucky. How did they get in we wondered? Here they had, during broad daylight while security was “on watch,” snapped a 1/2 inch metal plate off the bar’d doors of the neighbors and picked the lock. They then jumped from their balcony to ours and came in through the rear sliding glass doors. Two places had been robbed. Talk about a set up and the strong police presence was felt when they were more concerned with free juice than the facts. We quickly learned the HomeOwners Association wasn’t going to act, so we did. We were given two dogs from our friend, the Vet, to help with interior protection because apparently outside armed security wasn’t enough. We named them Winnie and Koni. They are half pit-bull and half dominican mutt(greyhound, lab, etc.) Of course having dogs was against the roles of living there, but we didn’t care. During that time there were nightly gun shots at the beach just 300 yards from the house over an illegal turf war. We were ready to move.

Problems as a Gringo

We quickly realized that no matter what, we would always be the “Nice Gringo’s” meaning they could always get something out of you. It was a shock to me, but we learned that you had to look beyond the surface of an individual and try and understand what their “Ulterior motive,” was. It was sad because it forced you to question each person you came into contact with. There were few “Gringos” our age, most were over 50 and had a different purpose for being there than us.

Just a few weeks after being there I was in a carrito; a beat up 1980’s Toyota Camry held together by duct tape or anything else they could use. My favorite were the warped tires, it was like going over a speed up every few seconds as you zoomed down the road beeping, yelling, swerving and dodging people, motos, pot holes and other cars. We were rear ended by a motorcycle. We all jumped out of the car and assessed the scene. It was a white middle aged American who was suffering from what appeared to be a concussion and some other injuries. We were able to push him into the carrito and took him to the local trauma hospital. I stayed with the man for a while, but had no way of calling my wife until someone lent me a cell phone. I called her and explained, “I don’t know when I’ll be home, but I am fine.” Needless to say the hospital refused to treat the man until he produced 10000 pesos, or roughly $250 cash. Luckily he had it. In the meantime the taxi driver was having me translate to the injured man that he wanted $200 for his car to be repaired. The man was in and out of conciseness and the hospital agreed to hold him over night. The gentlemen informed me that a “girl” he was supposed to meet up with was on her way and would take care of him. So I left. I hope he survived.

“Good price, just for you, I make good price.” That was the common statement heard non stop in town. After seeing you almost everyday you’d think they’d catch on, but nope. So we lived with it. We learned where cheap food and drinks were at. We found ways to take scenic walks into town along the beach and the beach the locals frequent where I could cliff jump. We loved that place.

Gringo means money. Money means crime.